Breaking: Guy with No Time Announces New Thing He's Doing with the Time He Doesn't Have
It's me, I'm the guy
We’re keeping the dream alive, people.
I basically didn’t post anything on here all year, because I was busy; 2023 was a lot of writing, a lot of moving, and a lot of (horror) graduate school. A good year, albeit a rough one in places. But in good years, tragically, we can lose our edge. My blogging muscles have atrophied. This is a shame.
Blogging, the second-lowest form of communicative life (only podcasters are beneath us), is neither a productive nor useful pursuit. It is, however, fun. And I miss it, and I’d like to do it more. Plus, I’ve acquired a number of new random or semi-random followers. It would be a shame for them to do all that work of clicking subscribe, only to be met with silence on the other end. You, dear Substack reader, are more important to me than that.
So, in 2024, I’m resolving to update the blog at least once a month. I know what you’re thinking.
—Are you going to upload your term papers?
No. Hell no.
—Then how on Earth do you expect to do this?
Well. My actions operate on a particular logic, perhaps not readily apparent to the average observer. You see:
1. There is a cheap movie theatre in my otherwise expensive neighborhood.
Step one is crucial, because it means I have only one option for regular entertainment within walking distance of my home.
2. I watch a lot of movies.
Step 2 is also crucial. Doesn’t need much explaining beyond what is already expressed in Step 1.
3. I talk about movies a lot.
Ahhhh yeah. Now we’re reaching the meat. When you watch a lot of movies (as I do) and are extremely talkative (as I am), you will tend to speak about movies often. Movies will seep into many of the things you say, with that motor mouth of yours—its hard, when going for sheer volume of one-liners, to get beneath the surface. And the surface is currently movies.
4. Talking precedes thought.
In many cases. The result is—
5. I’ve been thinking about movies.
All the damn time. Which means—
6. I probably have enough write short little pieces on movies. Maybe even one a month.
And I shall! Probably. And I shall call it:
A YEAR AT THE MOVIES
So here’s the goal. Watch at least one movie, in theatres, a month, and then write about it, for one year. Last week, I watched The Holdovers with Paul Giamatti, which will serve as the November entry. Then Poor Things, the upcoming Yorgos Lanthimos/Emma Stone movie, will be December. After that? Who knows. Release schedules change fast. If I have to go watch some capeshit, or a lifetime movie, or whatever, then fine. This is my sacred task.
These will not be standard “reviews,” in the style of Roger Ebert or whoever. This isn’t letterboxd. I’m going to try and use these movies, whether I enjoy them or not, as a springboard for my own thoughts. They also won’t be full essays; much shorter (around 600 words each), perhaps in a more notational style. Who knows? We’re all just having fun here.
One final rejoinder from the critic in my head, and then we’re getting to work:
—If it’s “a year at the movies,” why are you starting in November? And why is the November entry coming out in December?
Because it’s my blog and I said so. Shut up.
Looking forward to it